For the Torah, Women Aren’t Commodities, and Marriage Isn’t a Pro-Forma Prelude to Sex

If you go out to war with your foe
And the Lord Your God puts him in your hand
And you take some of them captive,
And you see among the captives
A woman who’s good looking
And you fancy her,
Then you’ll take her for yourself as a wife.

Thus begins this week’s Torah reading of Ki Tetsei (Deuteronomy 21:10-25:17), which includes a bevy of rules and regulations regarding women and marriage and also regarding conversion and its implications for marriage. How does the parashah frame these issues? We have here the opening shot. You’re in the heat of battle, you’ve routed the enemy and taken his entire camp prisoner, and there among them is this really comely foreign lass. You’re really keen on her, you’re all fired up, you grab hold of her and. . . . Wait a minute! If you want to go ahead, you’ll have to make her your wife.

The Torah now pauses to clarify how this will work: